8 Signs She Isn’t Into You

She’s not a b*tch. She’s just not interested.

Image for post
Image for post

“There’s nothing like the thrill of the chase.” — Men (and some women) Everywhere

But at what point do we realize our pursuit might have turned into a wild goose chase?

Though it should be obvious, many men and women go through life shamelessly wasting their time and energy on a female who ultimately has zero interest in them. We have all been there and agree that women can be so cruel when they waste your time.

However, in their defense, they might be dropping some not-so-subtle hints, all of which admit to their stringing you along and as I type this, there is still some guy or girl who has too much pride to just throw in the towel and bow out of the chase gracefully.

Don’t be that person. Here are 8 tell-tale signs that she’s just not into you:

1. One-Word Answers

If this below conversation sounds familiar, it might be time to read between the lines:

You: How was your day?

Her: Good.

You: What did you do?

Her: Work.

Let’s be honest, women love to talk.

If she isn’t talking to you, then she’s talking to someone else. Consider this a “stop” sign and do not proceed.

2. Indecisiveness

You: So, when can I see you again?

Her: Soon, We’ll see, Idk — you tell me.

These are all code words and phrases for “never.” Just let it go.

Most women know within the first fifteen minutes of a first date whether or not she has any interest in seeing you again. Or, if the two of you haven’t yet met, she has an idea after the first initial conversation the direction it is (or isn’t) heading.

If she wants to see you again, she will have definitive answers. Just as you would so if this isn’t the case, take it as a hint.

3. Flakiness

Now let’s say she does agree to go out, but then “something” comes up. Sure, things happen, but if this becomes habitual, it’s time to take a more practical approach and notice what’s really going on.

4. She stands you up.

This should go without saying, but I’ll elaborate because there are still people who will not read the subliminal messaging in this.

Here’s the scenario: She agreed to go out for a lunch date and as far as you know, it’s still on.

Then, she’s a no call, no show.

You’re sitting at Starbucks and you’ve ordered your ‘go-to’ latte. You were even nice enough to grab her a cup of the coffee she mentioned she likes and a blueberry muffin while assuming she is just simply running late.

Then thirty minutes go by and you hear nothing from her — not even an, “Hey, I’m running late” text. You text her and get no reply. You call her and it goes straight to voicemail.

You now consider this a complete no-show. After confirming she is, in fact, alive and well, take it as a loss and move forward. Besides, who skips out on coffee and a blueberry muffin anyways?

5. She never texts or reaches out first.

I get it. You feel she’s just ‘playing hard to get’ and wants you to work for her, but is she really?

Mutual interest requires mutual effort. This isn’t the 1930’s and we’re not writing letters to one another. It takes less than five seconds to send a text and a single text can provide peace of mind and confidence that you are on the same page so if you notice you are the only one initiating conversation, then it’s time to see the situation for what it likely is.

6. She isn’t honest with you/She tells silly lies.

If she isn’t able to be straightforward about even the fact that she might be realizing she’s too busy to date, then that says a lot about her intentions, to begin with. Many women are just as busy in this modern world as men are these days and it’s okay to admit you might have overcommitted yourself when you accepted the date offer.

If you find that she is telling you false information in the hopes you will continue to entertain the idea of ‘someday,’ but without providing you with real facts, then your time is likely best spent elsewhere.

7. She avoids making plans with you.

Some women will be incredibly enthusiastic in text and over the phone, but when it comes down to making plans, she is less than committed to making any. This is a true sign that she is not into you. We make time for the priorities in our lives and if she is consistently unwilling to do so with plans that include you, then it is likely a relationship with you is not high on her list of priorities.

A woman’s resistance to your advances and invitations are one of the main ways she tells you she’s not interested. Always be very clear with your invitation.

If you would like to take a girl out to dinner, tell her that very clearly. Do not make plans vague or ambiguous, otherwise, her response will often be the same.

For example, rather than saying “we should really do something one of these days” so she can then say “yeah we should totally do something,” try saying something like, “Hey, are you free any night this week. I’d love to invite you to dinner.” While the first response doesn’t outline a clear agreement on plans, the second initiation does.

Clarity is the key to avoiding confusion with a girl.

8. She responds and calls only when it’s convenient for her.

If there is no urgency to see you or excitement when it comes to your texts and calls, then it would seem she has better things to do. Sure, people can become busy and forget to click the ‘send’ button or even respond to the text, to begin with, but when this becomes habitual, there is a greater meaning to the absence of response and it’s a lack of interest on her end.

Though there are several ways we can let a person know we are not interested without using those words, to begin with, we have to understand that by lying, we aren’t doing anyone any good. There is nothing wrong with letting a person know you do not see romantic potential with them, but it is difficult to respect a passive approach to conveying this message.

The same can be said about the way men approach the dating scene and navigate people of interest vs disinterest. Look at the situation for what it is and ensure your time is being invested in the relationships that offer real potential and can add value to your life.

Written by

Writer. Poet. Philomath. Dog Mom. Traveler. Creator. Wanderer. Teacher. Empath. Author of “Unapologetically Human” - available on Amazon

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store