I Unlocked A Decade Of Lost Memories Through Meditation

With every session, I remembered something new.

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We have all heard stories about different experiences one can have while in a meditative state. For some, this consists of total relaxation, clarity on an issue, or even observation of their world from the perspective of an animal (yes, this has happened to people before). No matter the path that brings you to meditation practice, there is something to be said about the opportunity it presents for us to gain insight into the things we were entirely unaware of before.

I am walking (or writing) proof of this.

Since publishing my most recent post in which I shared several of the more traumatic experiences in my life, I have received an overwhelming amount of messages filled with encouraging words and moments of resonance. I have been humbled with gratitude and motivated to continue sharing the parts of my journey that mandate vulnerability.

However, what readers of that story do not yet know is how I was able to recall such details of the mentioned events.

That’s where meditation comes in.

I first heard about the impact of meditation while watching an interview where the interviewee was sharing an experience he had that shaped a necessary lens to him becoming the successful entrepreneur he is today. He explained that when he reached a state of transcendental meditation, he noticed he was looking at his life from the perspective of a bird. In doing so, he could see the aerial view of his work, his family, his existing priorities, and furthermore, was able to note what he was missing.

When asked what he learned from this, he said it became clearer what it was he needed to do next and how everything else in his life was manipulating his progress, in both positive and negative ways. He shared that with new reference came the desire for new skillsets so he made it his mission to adopt the skillsets necessary for his immediate goals.

With such a unique experience possible, I figured it was worth a shot so I committed to meditating once a day, for a minimum of 30 minutes, every day, to see what could come of it.

The first few experiences were primarily several moments of relaxation strung together and appropriate for a nice ‘reset’ or preparation for a restful night’s sleep. After about the fifth session, I began to notice certain visualizations were making their appearance, only I remembered very few of them being a part of my conscious memory.

Though I knew they were experiences from my life (this due to my presence in all of them), I couldn’t shake the idea that these were memories I had forgotten about entirely. My next question was: Why?

The more I meditated and committed to the same mantra, time of day, and breathing techniques, the more predictably unpredictable they became. I was able to continue the progress from the day before, but without any control over thought, I never knew what memory would be triggered on a given day. The deeper I got into my meditative state, the more vivid the memories became and the clearer the picture from each became.

I’ve been hooked ever since.

For me, it hasn’t been about reaching the ultimate state of stillness or camatose, but uncovering the things my conscious mind hides away during the rest of the day.

Over time, I realized that the need for these recollections wasn’t to revisit trauma, but to work through it.

With every new-found memory, I was able to compartamentalize the way each moment throughout the event made me feel and how it has impacted my life experiences since. Light was brought to the darkest moments in my memory and meditation helped me find the keys to the doors that had been painfully locked all these years.

I began to understand myself as a human

I realized that I wasn’t crazy when I lost my cool over something a significant other did in the past. I learned that denial had manifested my unhealed wounds into mental illness in the form of depression. I acknowledged where the broken pieces were in my soul and conceded that none of the things that caused them to break were my fault.

While in discussion with a friend of mine, I remember describing each session as being ‘epiphanic.’

As each traumatic memory made its appearance, I would take a moment to see it for what it was, while carry an unbiased opinion on the emotional impact it presented, and make a conscious decision on how I wanted it to affect me (or not affect me) from that point on. Though we cannot eliminate parts of our story, we can choose the way we navigate through it.

The moral of this story is that each one of us has the ability to adopt a meditative practice that works for us and ultimately, it can be a sure-fire way to tap into the things we are unable to while in a state of heightened awareness. Most often, we are searching for answers on the outside before ever trying to work through the problems we still have on the inside. Meditation eliminates the distractions along with the outside sources of stress and hones in on the things going on within you.

Meditation is a true way to get to know yourself from the truest perspective — your own.

I have learned more about myself through meditation than I ever thought to be possible and have gained an innate ability to approach stressful moments with greater ease and to lessen the extent of detriment negative events have on my day-to-day life. I don’t shun negative emotion, but rather dissect it and place intent behind what I will do with it going forward. Choice: that is the difference.

Written by

Writer. Poet. Philomath. Dog Mom. Traveler. Creator. Wanderer. Teacher. Empath. Author of “Unapologetically Human” - available on Amazon

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