Seasonal Soulmates: Is There Such A Thing?

The best thing I never had.

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We’ve heard the tales that bookend with ‘once upon a time’ and ‘happily ever after,’ but what about the love that happens in between? What qualifies a person to be a soulmate and is it true that you can have more than one throughout your life? These are the questions we will likely never have clear and concise answers to, but in reflection, I can highlight the romantic experiences I have had and the belief I have had more than one ‘soulmate’ in my life.

Let’s start with the definition of the word soulmate. A soulmate is believed to be “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.” Many will say that once you have found this person, there is no longer the need to keep looking, but how applicable is this advice to the general public?

As I gave thought to my previous relationships, I was able to (for the first time in my life) see each for what they truly were and with that, the purpose each brought to my life. Certain behaviors of mine have become a product of previous relationships and other habits have been reworked because of those same experiences. In reflection, I realized that despite the majority of my relationships not working out, I was, without doubt, with the person deemed my ‘soulmate for the season’ each time.

While I am convinced that my most recent relationship rang closest to a lifelong soulmate, I cannot negate the obvious when looking at what brought me to that particular partnership in the first place. The person I dated 3 years ago was the epitome of what I needed during my time of loss after suffering a miscarriage just before my second trimester. He responded with patience, love, and devotion to me and my emotional state. After discovering moments of healing for the first time, I realized that the relationship was not destined forever, but was what was needed for me to gain the support needed to move forward from that chapter. Honestly, staying with him became a constant reminder of what we had lost.

Roughly 2 months after I lost Remy, I met the ex that changed a lot for me. My relationship with him taught me to not ignore the first meeting with someone and the tone set from day 1. My relationship with him became a distraction from everything that had been at the forefront of my mind daily before meeting him. Our relationship was lovely, then hectic, and then a toxic mix of the two. Several factors lead to our separation, but in hindsight, I likely wouldn’t be here sharing these experiences with you if he hadn’t come along when he did.

After our split, he moved 500 miles away and I was left with the pieces of my heart and the plans I thought we had for the future. I was alone and left with my own damaging thoughts. I desperately searched for the company of anyone who would give me the time and revisited an old relationship from 10 years prior. The dynamic of this reuniting was exciting, yet an all-around bad idea. We lasted roughly 2 months before the realization was made that I had made noticeable changes since high school and he was still finding his way. Going through another messy split, though short-lived, was just the right diversion while my subconscious desperately sought to repair my shattered heart.

After finding a moment of resilience following a series of catastrophic breakups, I uncovered the most honest form of myself I had ever known. I picked back up the habits I had put off for years, adopted a new workout routine as I had said I would for months before, and I set out to become the person I had been trying to silence for so long.

That’s when the partner I so often speak about came into the picture. We met on a dating site (as most do now) and from the moment we first met, we knew being in each other’s lives would be something special. He did and said all of the things I had been craving for so long and he did so without any prompting whatsoever. He was thoughtful, attentive, and determined to be everything my flawed mind had been lead to believe about relationships up until that point.

We took a chance when we made the decision to move in with one another early on in our relationship and had we of known where we’d end up today, we would have replaced the ignorance with more conversation and waited a bit longer to do so. Co-habitating while simultaneously getting to know a person is a near-impossible expedition. We got to a place where we could not make it work while under the same roof and after several blow up fights, we decided to call it quits and this is where we currently are today.

One of the most beautiful cognizances that I have come to know during this time is that soulmates do not have to last forever in order to be considered soulmates and they do not have to be of the romantic sort either. A mother, brother, sister, daughter, son, etc. could all be a person’s soulmate.

Furthermore, the opportunity to change comes with every new day and this gives both myself and my recent ex time to work on ourselves as individuals. Though our ‘season’ might be over now, the people we become during this time of healing and growth can lead us to the reconciliation of souls during a later chapter. Who knows what could happen?

As long as our focus remains in a place of self-awareness and perpetual growth, we will attract those who are meant to serve a place in our life. Do not resist change and do not lose sight of love simply because one chapter ends. Seasons change, people change, but your focus should remain on achieving the best version of you always.

Written by

Writer. Poet. Philomath. Dog Mom. Traveler. Creator. Wanderer. Teacher. Empath. Author of “Unapologetically Human” - available on Amazon

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