Member-only story
So You Think You’re An Ally?
It’s time for some tough love
Many of us are aware of the mistreatment and hate members of the LGBTQIA+ community experience more often than we care to admit, but it’s a different animal when you begin to experience it first hand. As someone that grew up practically next door to the Bible Belt, it took me nearly 28 years of my life to learn my true sexuality and once I did, I felt immediate liberation. However, that liberation was soon followed by fear. Fear of being ostracized, fear of neglect, fear of being physically retaliated against, fear of showing any future partner affection in a public setting, fear of losing friendships and relationships, fear of missing out on promotions at work, etc. And it was because of those fears that I was met with pleasant surprise at the positive response I received from people in my life that I had prepared myself to lose following that conversation. To put it simply, it was bliss. My grandmother, parents, sister, friends — everyone said they supported me and wanted me to be happy. I’ve learned over the past few months that saying what the ‘feel good’ videos tell you to say is the easy part. Telling someone, ‘I love you just the way you are,’ isn’t hard work. And as a now out gay woman, I’ve had to come to terms with two realities: 1) Tolerance isn’t synonymous with acceptance and 2) Most ‘allies’ are only committed to the comfortable.
