Throughout the course of my life there is one constant I can recall the presence of in every dream…fear…and if this is the case, and they say dreams that don’t scare you aren’t big enough, then I’d say I’m doing pretty damn well, but it isn’t fear in and of itself that brings unease, it is the detail of each.
In every big moment of my life from quitting a job to cashing out my 401(k), there has always been a delay initiated by to things — the fear of bringing disappointment to my parents and the fear of failure. And while I wish I could say I have won the war against both, I have hardly defeated either one.
You see, my parents raised me on the principle that with stability comes peace of mind and when you fail to plan for retirement, you plan to fail, so doing things like the previously mentioned on a whim, wouldn’t exactly scream “forward thinking.”
It becomes a daily struggle and despite my feelings on its ridiculousness, is one I can’t seem to shake myself. But I follow with the question — when did my life become that of anyone but myself?
When did my life choices depend on others and my dreams limited by boundaries I did not set?
We have all met someone in our lives who is following a dream not of their own to become a professional at something they will never love and it is all to bring peace to the minds of individuals that will not live to see your last day, assuming nature runs its normal course.
We have to stop placing the contingency of others’ approval on the dreams that disrupt our sleep. I type those words with the understanding it is a change that I also need to make. By giving the advice to ourselves that we would give to a loved one, we will allow for the freedom to live a life that we want.