You let other people define you. You let their words get under their skin and you give their fictitious comments meaning. In doing so, you inhibit yourself from love, from happiness. I have always said that one cannot truly love another human being until they learn to love themselves; not love the person that people tell them they are or who they wish to be when they close themselves at night, but the actual person staring back at them when they look in the mirror.
Loving yourself is a practice, an art almost. It does not happen overnight, but it is a process with a purpose. It has taken me years to accept myself for who I am and to care for myself at even the most unlovable moments of my life. Learning to love yourself is all about knowing what your positive qualities are and coming to terms with your negative. You have to recognize that where one person falls short, another excels and vise versa. Write it down. Read it aloud to yourself and, for goodness sake, if you find something you dislike about yourself morally or mentally, fix it. Work on it. Do everything in your power to make it great.
Loving yourself isn’t something that you learn once and never have to work on again, because we are always changing and growing. This is why it is so important to accept things as they come and spin the bad times into the best times. Surround yourself with positive people, eat good food, pick up a fun hobby; the possibilities are endless. Somewhere inside of you, you’ll find the self love you’ve been looking for and, when you do, grasp it as tightly as you can and never let it go.
The stronger your love for yourself is, the more impossible taking it away from you becomes.